So I’ve (28f) been with my primary partner, Jane (26f) for about two years. Things have been going wonderfully - fantastic communication, sex, and compatible lifestyles. We’ve always been non monogamous although definitely our first year was more or less monogamous because of nre, plus we moved pretty quickly into commitment and intensity. Super super happy with the relationship in general! My question is though - I’ve been seeing someone for about 5 dates so far. That’s been going super well, we’ve slept together once and I think we’re both super into each other. Sarah and I are somewhat in between poly and enm in a surprising way as I had really only intended on enm relationships. Everything is super above board and Jane is happy that my experience with Sarah is going so well.

So Jane and I are really interested in having a threesome, as I’ve had several experiences plus I was even in a throuple, plus she hasn’t had one. It’s been super challenging finding someone that we’re both attracted to (we can both be a bit picky plus because Jane is transfem, it can be difficult to find a experienced and supportive partner. I recently had the thought that it would be super hot to have a threesome with Sarah and I can’t get the thought out of my head. Wondering what y’all think about trying to initiate that.

On the one hand, I’m obvi very into Sarah and I think Jane would be as well (they’ve met twice at queer events). I also know Sarah wouldn’t be transphobic and would ask the right kinds of questions. I don’t want Jane to feel uncomfortable though if I suggest Sarah as a candidate and I also don’t want Sarah to feel like I’m using our existing dynamic in a shady way.

Does it sounds fair/equitable to first ask Jane if she’s interested, and stating that I haven’t brought it up to Sarah. And then asking Sarah if there’s interest from Jane, while making sure they know this would be completely separate from our dynamic,which I want to continue? This seems the most fair but trying to avoid any blind sides.

Tl:Dr thinking about a threesome with my girlfriend and a new partner- has anyone successfully made a similar situation work?