Context: one of my partners is gearing up for a big life change with his primary partner, and this means that he hasn’t been able to spend as much energy on our relationship in the lead-up (now) to when we won’t be able to see each other at all for a few months, and his energy for us will continue to be limited.
I’m feeling fearful and insecure about this change, and he’s reassured me to a degree that he will do his best to keep us connected, but this hasn’t allayed my fears that this is might be the end of what we have, or that he will lose interest in me because of our time apart. I’ve been trying to find healthy ways that I can manage and understand my insecurity better, but nothing has helped. I don’t want to fall into the trap of using my other partner or more dates as a distraction.
I’d love to hear how others have successfully managed emotional/physical distance that’s out of your control. Thanks!
I think that’s where the struggle will be. There’s a lot of uncertainty about what our new frequency might be, due to things out of our control. I just know that right now it will be less, and for a time it will be none at all.
We’ve been through no IRL interactions before when I had prolonged travel, but I also had capacity to keep up the connection. It’s unclear what his capacity might end up being to maintain the connection once this change happens and we can’t see each other for a time.
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I appreciate the hugs and kind and honest words, thank you.
I’ve known for a while that this change was coming, and I think it’s feeling particularly hard because it felt like we really hit our stride in the last few months. So even though I know it’s out of my hands and isn’t a reflection on me or our relationship, it’s hard to keep the insecurities at bay.
I’m also torn in that we probably only have time for one more date together, and I’d like to spend that simply enjoying each other’s company, but I know I have to bring up the conversation on what his boundaries will be. I don’t want to be a burden to him during this time, it will be stressful and exhausting enough for them both as it is.