My husband and I opened a year ago and I have not found what I was looking for. I’m on the fence about giving up or to keep trucking slowly on in the handful of different ways I have been.

I’ve done Feeld, Bumble, Feeld again, and now I’m on fetlife and going to munches. I’ve only just begun exploring in person munches and chatting men who reach out to me on Fet.

Something that really stands out to me from over this last year is that a lot of men do not want to sleep with a woman who is happily married. The Bulls want exclusive claims to my pleasure. And men looking for a wide range of things have claimed they were uncomfortable being with me if I wasn’t miserable in my marriage/sex life, or on the brink of divorce.

What am I missing? Is this code for something or a response to me throwing out red flags? Am I throwing out red flags? Is it really so Sus that a woman that is rediscovering her libido would want additional sex partners? Why do I only get to play if I have a dead bedroom?

**for reference, I’m 47, hubs is 50 and we are both exploring separately after a dip in libido for both of us after having kids.