husband and i have been married 3 years. 3 months in, he confessed he was bi, and always wanted to experiment with other men. i wasn’t bothered by this, and since then to the present, about 2-3 times a month we have had 3 ways with another guy or he invites a guy over for a 1 on 1 (i am not home & he informs the men he is married).

now, i am also into women, and i have always wanted to be with another woman. the issue is, when we first started 2.5 years ago, i told him i was 100% ok with FMM three-ways, but as long as i wasn’t expected to be okay with MFF. i previously was extremely jealous and insecure when it came to other women. i’ve since reached a point that most monogamous couples would consider extremely secure. i don’t care if he notices attractive women, points out an attractive celebrity, etc. but i’m still trying to work through the idea of opening up our marriage in this way (we agreed a FFMM four way would be the smartest way to go about it to start out) for the following reasons in order of significance:

1) i’m extremely internally prideful and competitive. the idea of my husband being with another woman makes me feel like she would “have one over me” and i’d be the idiot on the side. i worry afterwards, i wouldn’t want to be intimate with my husband because it would bring up those prideful feelings.

2) i’m terrified of pregnancy and the idea of the worst case scenario where he got the woman pregnant makes me sick. i don’t know if our marriage would survive that (on my end)

3) regular ole insecurities. worrying that he would like her body more, or that he would fantasize about her during our own 1 on 1 intimate time which i like to be kept between us

in conclusion, i’m sure this all sounds very trivial to this community, as i’m sure we seem (and are) relatively young in terms of NM. i’m also aware these aren’t the healthiest mindsets, but this is me actively trying to overcome them, and i hope you can have patience for that and share any good advice you’ve learned along the way <3