I've posted several times on here so bare with me. 33M Married and monogamous, together for 16 years to 34F. We both agree we want to dabble in MFM and FMF threesomes. We both want to experience this for the first time together. If anything else comes after, such as swinging or other types of ENM, we'll deal with it at that time.

Our main issue stems from our different approaches on how to achieve this. We live in Florida and have no shortage of clubs or possible meeting grounds, apps and websites are also an option. We've now had 2 close encounters with 2 different women, both willing to be our third, but its never the right time or circumstances wouldn't alow.

With all this available to us, I'm of the let's make this happen mindset, she's of the if it happens it happens mindset. As if it'll happen spontaneously with someone we've not had any time to talk or plan with. I find this problematic and irritating.

When I point out or differences in how to make this happen, she makes it seem as if I'm being pushy or rushing the issue. I feel like there needs to be alot of planning in order for this to happen correctly and I feel like she hopes for something spontaneous and whimsical.

Anyhow, I'm careful not to bring the subject up and wait for her to engage in the conversation, which she does once every couple of months. But once I move into planning mode and making suggestions on how to meet the right people or places with the right environment, she always reverts to me being pushy.

I feel like she's unsure of what she wants but if so, why keep bringing it up? It's as if she wants to engage in this but the moment I show interest, it's never the right time or it's too much planning and its taking the excitement out of the situation. I honestly feel trapped between desire and indifference. I want it to happen, I want to share this experience with her, or I would prefer to stop talking about it all together and remain monogamous.

Anyways, sorry for the ranting. I'm open to suggestions and comments.

Thanks.