Wife says she wants a threesome, but wants to "let it happen."

For years, we've discussed the topic of having MFM and FMF threesomes. We've come close to a couple of encounters, both with women, but nothing ever came to pass. One such encounter went horribly wrong and I was basically cucked, seemingly forced to watch, as another woman went down on my wife.

Anyhow, after that experience, and some time to heal from the encounter, we agree we both still want to experience a threesome together but she's developed a more passive mentality about the situation. Basically, if it happens, great, but let it happen on its own. No planning, no searching or exploring, just let it happen. I on the other hand, feel like if it's something we're both willing to do, why wait? Let's take the initiative and make it happen. We're an attractive couple, we've had not one but two, stunning women, offer to sleep with us, but it's never the right time. Besides our two potential encounters, apps and websites aside, we live in a state where we have multiple clubs and resorts that are within a 2 hour drive. There's no shortage of opportunity.

Anyhow, I'm fine with the idea of a threesome, I'm fine with the idea of monogamy. What I'm not fond of is the waiting or the unknown. I don't want to be pushy and pressure her but I'd rather decide to pursue the matter or just to drop it all together...

Thoughts?