<rant>

I have a feel all relationships in my life had an expiration date, people leave, their priorities change and my priorities change (and despite that, I still feel a loss), and compounded this with now experimenting with ENM relationships feels like no poly/enm relationship is actually..."stable", or "life-long", but is there for some fixed amount of time.

Reading enm books like Poly-secure & ethical slut kinda the pattern seems familiar. Then I remember Buddhist saying about how we cannot avoid pain and suffering in our life, that it's futile...so kinda yeah, be mono suffer, be non-mono suffer, or you'll have issues/problems. Seems like most research I'm aware of is kinda concluding you and your communication styles have a greater life satisfaction impact over mono/ENM relationship styles.

Maybe part of me always feels uncomfortable when I'm single & alone...as if I always have to be in someone's romantic company, someone's priority. Missing out on life by not having sex for a month(s), missing out on lovely kink experiences/connections you kinda need to have with other people. Bonus points for fearful-avoidant attachment style, and things are wonderful.

Compound that with the fact I didn't really have friends between K4-12, and some other stuff happening in my early university years (am 28 now and have a really really great group of friends...it just took me the last 3 years to build it...but I still don't feel completely secure in it)
</rant>

So yeah, kinda putting some thoughts out there for wise Redditors...if Reddit thought me sex ed when I was a teen, it could be helpful in this life stage as well :P.

Discussion point...impermanence of relationship within the ENM context.