Hello everyone,

I want to start of by saying I am currently in a 3 year nonmonogamous relationship, I consider myself way more monogamous than non but I wanted to give this a shot since I love my partner dearly. We are both males.

My partner engages in a lot more sex with others than I do, but he sets up some boundaries for us to ensure that we are comfortable when we come back to each other. My partner is bisexual as well but likes girls more then men. Anyways, these boundaries that are set are agreed by both me and him. For example, we both are not allowed to kiss other people, we both are not allowed to engage in oral sex, and we are both only allowed to use poppers with each other (not sure why this was a thing but he suggested it and said it would make him more comfortable). All 3 of these are just a few that we agreed on.

Recently when I went to visit him I had asked him if he had ever used poppers with someone after we had both agreed on not doing so. He said no several times but he did a guilty smile and began laughing. He knew I caught him red handed and at this point I didn't know how to feel about this. This brought up so many questions for me. Like how many of our boundaries has he broken? Does he set up these boundaries because he wants me to not engage but only him?

Well after knowing this it makes me want to just say fuck it and do whatever I want because he broke this boundary, it just seems to me that he sets up boundaries and does whatever he wants anyways. My question about all of this is does it make me a bad person that I want to just do what I want? I have always kept within line of our boundaries because I respect them as they should be. I am the type of person that doesn't believe in revenge or if something happens to me I believe to still live by what I think is right. And I am not sure what to say to him if he asks me why I broke a certain boundary if I do discuss this stuff with him again.