Put this in r/polyamory and was told here may be better.

Contexed: My partner and I have been together almost a year. Planning on becoming NP soon. I'm coming from a pair of bad mono divorces. We have been exclusive for the entire time until a couple of weeks ago.

Here's how it went down. I'm at work and she isn't working right now. I get a text "I met this guy would it be ok if we had safe sex". I responded I wasn't real comfortable with some random guy off the street, but it's your choice. I really wanted to say no it wasn't ok with me, but put on the spot I tried to be honest without being controlling.

Needless to say I have had a lot of feels and my therapist is making bank on this. I feel like such casualness devalues what we share. I feel taking a random stranger you have known of the street is an extreme safety risk. I did message her to let me know she was ok after, or I would have sent a welfare check. I've had issues since and am working on them. I did tell her I didn't want that kind of poly atm. I have always been good with threesome and group play though we haven't done that yet, and she is seeming resistant to that now though she was trying to set up a threesome just a week before this happened.

I know some of you are going to flame me and probably rightly so. Just looking for insight, processing ideas, really any input.