Hey friends! My (nesting) partner (26M) of four years and I (22F) opened our (previously monogamous) relationship fully about a month or so ago after taking it in slow steps over the past year. We’ve talked everything through many times and are doing pretty great and are happy! :)

He’s been in Spain on vacation the past week, and we both anticipated that maybe this would be the time when he would “get with” someone outside our relationship for the first time, and this happened a couple nights ago.

I feel fine with it and am not hurt. But I am looking for tips or maybe just some good reflections you guys in here have thought. I feel because this is such a different area of emotions to the norm, I don’t really have a frame of reference as to what “should” be happening in my mind, and I’m missing a place to start. You know, with the standard heterosexual, monogamous, classic relationship, we receive so much normative input (parents, friends, films and TV, etc.) growing up, and from that we gain a frame of reference as to how things work there. I feel I’m missing that kind of information with this open relationship thing and am finding myself a bit lost, as a I simply don’t know what to think. This is surprising to me, because I’m as far from emotionally detached as you can be, and for the first time in my life, I’m finding it hard to figure out what I’m feeling.

I would like to stress that I’m not hurt by him going out. I’m not mad at all. We’re fine. :D

With that said, any tips or good ice breakers for my inner monologue to get my brain thinking? :)