My wife and I have great PIV sex when we have sex. I have explained to her that I am a very sensual and hedonistic person, and so my enjoyment of sex actually revolves around giving pleasure. For her, she just likes the big D. It makes her feel loved and desired to fuck. That's not in question.

I absolutely love giving oral. My kink is that I like giving pleasure, it provides me more pleasure than physical stimulation of myself. My wife doesn't get much from oral sex, as in tongue on pussy. She doesn't enjoy the idea of me serving her, not just this way, but as a sort of position of being above me. She doesn't see me this way.

We both agree that my dick is off the menu in any capacity outside our marriage, and I'm OK with that.

It was frustrating for both of us until we talked about it. After more conversation it's not frustrating for either of us now, she understands my desire to please, but it's not how she sees me. I want to pursue a sexually giving friendship outside my marriage, and she wants this, too.

We've already set up boundaries that it's going to be out of her sight, and that my dick is off limits. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem for any perspective partner. Getting served and pleased without any concern for reciprocity, and knowing you're doing a good thing should be a good deal.

I know she doesn't see me this way, and I can understand why she doesn't see me this way. To her, I am strong, masculine - a leader. It's related to her culture as well.

Having an extremely tall, extremely muscular, extremely successful academic professor of hard science take on a role of physical and emotional pleasure worship is not something she wants, but she does like my dominant personality and confidence. She also works in science and engineering, and I'm OK with her exploring personal and professional relationships with men that could result in her similarly cultivating feelings that end up in oral sex.

I know my wife likes sucking dick, but it's not something I really care about. I'm obessed with eating pussy, licking ass, maximizing every physical pleasure possible with toys and conversation, and friendship - I need this. I need to serve and empower someone like this. And I just need to do it with a women that really enjoys it. I'm going ahead with trying to meet someone that wants to be worshipped - my wife and I agree this is fine. But here's the thing, I don't really care if my wife also sucks dick - but we haven't discussed this. The reason I am making it sound more straight forward for her, is I think it is for most men. I feel like she would be excited by, and most men would be to, for her to have my blessing to suck some guys dick spontaneously, likely in professional settings. Not only do I not have a problem with this, I think she would love it, and I think it would be just all around great for men in her life.

I feel it would be selfish to pursue my passion for a full mind and body service, pussy worshipping experience, while potentially denying my wife her fair share. But, I also think one of the reasons that my wife doesn't care if I go off and eat another women's pussy, or try to develop deep and personal connections with that person to satisfy them completely, is the same reason it doesn't do much for her. I know she looks up to me, and deep down I think she may have a slight cuck fetish. Or, maybe she is more like a man, and weirdly I am more sensitive. I like the idea of pleasing someone who knows I love and adore them, and I create a deep interest in them to serve them. She is more surface level, but that might be fun for her to have surface level dick sucking.

I feel like her image of me as a masculine person would be destroyed if she knew I didn't really care if she sucked dick on the side. I'm wondering how to go about having this conversation without altering her view of me.

Deep down, I don't really think it's fair of me to go pursue a relationship with another women that revolves around exploring and completely focusing on her pleasure, without at least offering my wife the opportunity to suck dick when she may want to have that choice.

I guess it feels extra bad for me because the reality of the situation is that she is OK knowing I'm going to worship another women so that she can have a better relationship with me without her taking something for herself. She has put that on the table, that I can stray orally, and I am grateful for that, but I genuinely feel that I don't care if she wants to suck a dick. I don't know if she even would want to.

This really is coming across as a schizo post. So TL;DR I'm going to find a female friend to worship, centered around oral sex, sex toys, but overall giving of emotional satisfaction, but I'm wondering if it's OK to tell my wife she can suck dicks, too.