My F32 husband M35 came out to me as wanting to be NM and that this has been on his mind for many years. This all happened last year. For me, although we have many friends with alternative lifestyles, it was completely new to me. I said I needed to think on it. After a week, knowing my anxiety, adhd and issues with delaying things due to decision paralysis he pushed for me to make a decision.

I agreed but it was very hard for me to make a decision this quickly. I was somewhat upset he hadn't brought it up in the years preceding at all and talked openly about it.

Fast forward to a year later. He has many partners scattered about that he often visits. I'm more of a homebody and although I've had a few propositions, I havnt quite wrapped my head around it. It all just feels so new I guess? Some of these offers have been from toxic people and im very sensitive with a history of SA so pretty wary. I've no interest in online dating or fwb and to be honest I have a lot of health anxiety around stis. I'm a little bit envious of his many women he dates if I'm honest? As a bi woman I've no idea where to start and most of my prospects have been men which I don't trust.

He's spent his last weekend before he goes travelling for a few months at a new partners house. He said he would spend our last night together before leaving but this didn't happen. I've been crying my eyes out for hours. I know this is probably highlighting some issues with communication in our relationship on general but how do you know you even want ENM? Sometimes I feel like I'd rather have a golden retriever partner or no partner at all. It's hard. Would love some tips and advice..