edit: "Closed" not "Close"... *oof*

My wife and I decided we wanted to look for another couple to be romantic with. This is not traditional poly by any means. My wife and I love each other. We just wanted more people to love in our lives. We found a couple in late August. Interestingly enough, they wanted the same, unusual version of poly. They too are happily married soulmates. They too wanted to experience this together and not separately. Hence, we do things together as a quad or as couples. We don't typically hang out in a triad unless the circumstance allows it (one of us is busy). We do sometimes hang out in the swapped couple format, but it's rare, very rare. We have sex as primary couples or we have sex as a quad. We never have 1-on-1 sex with anyone but our primary partners. Everyone must be in attendance or nothing can happen.

We moved into a very unique house back in March. A second house was built onto an original house as an "addition". The two houses have separate parking lots and separate entrances. There is a double door between the kitchens that allows us to move from one side to the other. Our family lives on one side and theirs lives on the other side.

We have big family dinners together. We currently have 12 people in the house. We have a lot of pets. It can be crazy and high energy. On the other hand, there are lots of places for folks to go if they want peace or just want to get away and have a private conversation. Generally, we only do dinner together. Last weekend we all went to the amusement park. That was unusual. It's very expensive to do even simple things like take the whole tribe out for fast food.

Speaking of finances, we have combined all of our incomes and all of our bills together. The four of us make four-person decisions about the money and life in general. It's all or nothing. If someone is not onboard we don't force the issue. The money thing is going really well. The bills are paid. We have money to buy the things needed for the house. We each are allotted the same amount of personal money. We all sit down and discuss any unexpected expenses. We also look at our forecasted finances and make choices about things like home improvements or vacations.

Life was a little bumpy after we first moved in. There are still some emotional waves here and there, but things are really smoothing out. We're all growing and accepting. We have what we call "broken light bulbs". The analogy is that when a light bulb goes out in your house, you don't burn the house to the ground, you fix the light bulb. If something is happening and we're unhappy about that, that's a broken light bulb. We bring it to the four and we fix that light bulb. We've been doing very well and the number of broken light bulbs and the frequency has deceased drastically as we navigate this maze.

We're learning a lot. Mother's Day, for example, was interesting. Do you take your kids to buys gifts for their mother or for both mothers? We actually have three mothers in the house because grandma is living with us. Also, birthdays have brought up some other interesting situations. Parenting in general was a pretty heated topic until we figured it out. Does a child have two dads or one? A very young child can get excited about a new relation and say "you're my best dad". Yep. It gets real deep real fast. Even if you're just having a good time talking to one of the kids, you might be reminded how you have ignored your own children over the years.

The same is true for these new romances. It's easy to gush over your new relationship and then remember how that compares to your existing relationship. For this reason, we have grown immensely. My wife and I have started giving that energy to each other. It's like falling in love again but also falling in love with other people too. You remember all the reasons you loved them and you suddenly remember to do those little things that you somehow stopped doing years ago. As you start to do those things again, your primary relationship begins to rekindle. You still love your primary partner, you just sort of let the relationship wither over the years. There is a lot more hand holding and cuddling. We also cuddle as a quad. Lots of cuddling all around.

Also, you realize that sex as a quad is exciting but it can also be emotionally messy. Everyone may not be having a good time. As time goes on, it is getting better and better. In mean time, however, you realize that sex with your primary partner is wonderful. You're really good at it as a couple; you've been doing it for over a decade after all. For that reason, the bedroom just gets better and better. Somehow, having two situations to compare really gives you a deep appreciation for what you have. Your emotional relationship with your new partner(s) drives you to express that connection sexually in the context of a foursome. Hence, you're motivated to keep at it and, as I said, things keep getting better and better.

Another cool aspect of this is the slow, drawn out relationship dynamics of a quad. You have this new relationship that you want to experience, but you rarely have 1-on-1 time with them. For example, for my birthday, we went on a date, alone. If was a really nice time and we both enjoyed it. Obviously, sex wasn't on the table and for that reason a lot of anticipation and excitement is building for our next encounter as a quad in the bedroom. There is something for to be said for longing. Longing makes you more grateful in the end.

Anyway, I am sorry to have blabbered on here. Bottom line, we're doing really well. Life has begun to even out into a really wonderful world we have built for ourselves.