I'm having an issue I can't get my head around and could do with other people's perspectives.

My partner and I are enm but not poly (we don't have other romantic relationships). I'm struggling to figure out where the line is between close fwbs and a poly partner.

The words he uses to describe the relationship he would like to have with a fwb (intimate, vulnerability, deep connection etc) are words that for me feel "more" than a friendship.. and when you throw in sex, kink, seeing them regularly and hanging out with that person doing friend stuff like going for drinks/cinema etc... aren't you basically dating without calling it dating?

We sometimes have an issue where it comes to us both using the same words but it means different things to each of us, so end up with a miscommunication so have tried to see if its that but it didnt really help me. The kind of relationship he describes is what I would see as poly, however he feels like it isn't as he would have no romantic feelings towards them

So I'm wondering how other people draw the line in enm to avoid crossing the line into poly. As it is I feel like the only "evidence" I would have that it wasn't poly is his word that he doesn't feel a certain feeling towards them :/ I feel like I need something more solid to hold onto