Hi there,

Long time lurker as I’ve been navigating enm in my relationship.

When I began my relationship from the start my partner said she was non monag . I had no experience in this but I was curious about it and wanted to try.

She didn’t date anyone just some kisses here and there. And I also kissed someone but was so invested in my partner I didn’t think about pursuing anyone else.

A year late- she starts to become interested in a friend in her friend group I have met. At this moment we just moved in together and I was feeling very insecure and felt it was too much to navigate during the first month of moving in our temporary place. I asked if we could close. I will admit that happening scared me. At the time I was uncomfortable that she was in their friend group and I had met her. I felt very jealous. I was always honest about this too. We close it off and she is bummed to not explore the relationship further.

We close it for 8 months and just reopen it in April.

The current situation: One of her friends she’s known for years recently became friends with someone. I met her once when we went out and I felt attracted to her but didn’t think much of it. A month late turns out she feels similarly. I go to a party with my partner and her friends and that person. I will say that prior to the party I had no idea she also felt attraction to me.

More context: my partner and set boundaries and one of them being not dating people in our mutual friend group

Back to the party: I notice this person is flirting with me but I don’t want to disrespect my partner so I am friendly. When we are alone together she admits she wants to talk to me more but respects my partner. I was caught off guard and said I’d have to check in with my partner before anything happens. My partner notices this person is giving me a lot of attention so next day she says she’s a little jealous but I don’t tell her about the convo that happened because I’m still reflecting on it. I tell her 3 days later and she blows up and calls me a liar. And says that is outisde our boundary bc she’s a friend of a friend (who’ she only met twice very briefly)

Now I am asked to make a choice either to purse this person even tho my partner feels uncomfortable and compares it to how I felt wut that one person she was dating or I don’t pursue it because I don’t want to put my partner through how uncomfortable it might be ? It feels a little unfair when I said I’d think about it she got upset and said I know what your answer is so the convo is still pending and I’m feeling conflicted .