So Iām really just looking for advice, or personal experiences regarding open relationships. My partner(30F) and I(34M) recently opened our relationship, only sexually and only talking to people right now, and I am so nervous/excited/anxious about it all. I know our relationship is rock solid and nothing would change that, we had a very long talk, and I know I have my personal issues, insecurities, etc. but she is very reassuring and I know at any time it can be called off if one of us becomes uncomfortable with it. As someone who has always had trouble meeting people, how would I even go about this. A question for women, what are your opinions regarding this? I want to learn as much as possible for my own peace of mind.
Initially whose idea was it to open your relationship?
If she ends up having many dates and eventually sexual partners, how do you feel about that?
Successful NM is more about how you deal with your partner's sexual relationships than you with your own.
YMMV - but it is likely you will have difficulty finding partners
Will your partner be comfortable pursuing sexual relations with boyfriends if you do not have one?
Would you be comfortable asking her to stop after she has a partner(s)?
Thanks for your candor!
Respectfully, your relationship has already changed, now you know she would like to have sex with other people, so much so that she took a risk and brought it up.
If you move forward, this is not something that can be "undone". It will always be part of your relationship.
This does not mean it will be a bad thing, but it could. It could also be good, but there are many caveats for partners with anxious attachment. You likely will have a lot of emotional distress to work through as things unfold.
I would earnestly ask your partner if she truly wants to move forward or if this is really just a fantasy and use it as such to add excitement to your sex life
Also make sure this is not PUD(poly under distress) where you are trying to please your partner, fearing your relationship will suffer if you disagree. You really need to ask yourself - "What do I want from this type of relationship". Do not make your partner's happiness your anchor, there needs to be something you want out if also.
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"My anxiety comes mostly from a multitude of other things, this is surprisingly not making us anxious in a negative way"
What are these anxieties?