Okay, here is the deal... I'm brazilian, and I've been non-monogamous for quite some time (11y) but only recently I asked myself "okay, how do other countries view non-monogamy?" which is why I joined this subreddit in the first place.

But today, after reading a recent thread, I realized a lot of the brazilian concepts of non-monogamy are actually quite different from the higher comments. So, that puzzled me... Which country are you guys from? And how different are your views about NM from the Brazilian perspective?

Okay, so first things first. The term isn't really that new here in Brazil and precedes to something around the 60s before the military dictatorship took place... Which, after a while, was basically shut down, and only a few writers/philosophers/activists kept talking about it. But the popularization of NM concepts really took off with the internet, the term got a big spike in 2016 and a huge (really, huge) spike during the pandemic (around 2020).

Just for a brief disclaimer: I'm a mere participant of this ongoing process and by no means I am knowledged enough to voice the opinion of all NM brazilians, this is merely my perspective.

The reasons why non-monogamy emerges as a term in Brazil are varied, but most of them comes from a very political background. Either from the feminist movement, the black movement, the communist movement, the indigenous movement or the LGBTQIAP movement. Most of the brazilian influences from foreigners come from Simone de Beauvoir, Alexandra Kollontai and Bell Hooks but a lot of the movement has a very strong influence by Brazil's own thinkers whom also brought a lot of cultural context to the discussion.

Non-monogamy in Brazil isn't strictly political, of course, but it's almost inherent to the topic. The movement itself is very feminist, anti-capitalistic and tries to recover the culture of black immigrants and indigenous folk. There is a strong movement called Political Non-Monogamy, which advocates against some of the concepts of monogamy, such as: the relationship staircase, rigidly hierarchical formats, the flexibilization of laws that treat couples as the only possible format of legal bond, the end of patriarchy in all its forms and of course the end of shaming about any form of non-exclusive relationships.

That's my first point of curiosity... I don't think I've ever seen a post here discussing deeper than the superficial level about anything related to political movements...? Are there discussions I'm not aware? Or is this really just not present? Maybe I can't grasp when those topics come in place because of subtlety?

As I said, NM isn't only about the political aspect of it. A lot of the process of becoming NM is very individual, as we break down prejudices and ingrained behaviours/expectations from our monogamous creation. There is an ENM movement in Brazil too, altho it's a bit different from what I've seen here (I guess?). It's mostly focused on psychology and therapy, helping each of us to go through all this processes individually... It's not as much as a movement with a goal, rather it's more like a support group (or multiple groups) that help each one in their journey.

There is no ENM "manifest" that's prevalent in Brazil. Each of the NM branches has their own core concepts, while ENM is treated more like an umbrella term without actually representing any sets of core beliefs.

That's the second question. How different is this for you guys? Does ENM have tangible core concepts? Does every "branch" of NM has its own manifest or their individual sets of concepts? Is ENM used as an individual identity trait? How much of it is about the actual belief in those rules, and how much is focused on the process/journey of each individual?

Last, but not least... Most NM brazilians don't consider some kinds of relationship formats as NM. That's mostly because of our very political root, as I explained earlier. Altho there are few - very few - people who wouldn't really agree with those definitions, I believe most of us would categorize those formats like that:

Most would agree as not actually non-monogamy:

• Cheating
• Open Relationships
• Poly/Mono Relationships (Polyandry and Polygyny)
• Swingers

Most would agree as non-monogamy:

• Polyamory (some wouldn't agree on it as NM)
• Free Relationships
• Relationship Anarchy

Everything else in between is debatable, there is no consensus.

Quick edit: I just want to be clear there is also no prejudice regarding the formats that aren't really seen as non-monogamy. Most of them are seen as transitory states, and even if they aren't NM brazilians are still welcoming to them.

That leaves us with our third and last point. How different are these definitions from NM for you?

I might get downvoted since maybe this touches in a lot of controversial topics, but I'll risk my internet points for the potential insightful conversation. 😶

So... How different is this to your own personal views? How is the NM movement in your country?