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I'm 47F (straight) mostly looking for FWB- type relationships, ongoing but casual.
I met a guy off Feeld on Sunday. I liked him. I felt we intellectually contected. During the meetup, I asked his age to remind myself and he's 27... My "line" is 30. I missed it on his profile??? Oops
But we clicked, and 27 to 30 is three years, not a big difference. He's a grown up: college education, good job, car, money to spend on dates. Seems to have stable relationships. But I usually date men over 40... and this guy is a year younger than my partner's oldest child .. yikes?
He's not local to where I live/ work. He's local to a nearby city that I visit regularly. The distance will automatically create a barrier to getting serious so I don't think I need to worry about that.
I've had to stop him from talking / texting about sex. I'm a slut. I'm happy to fuck when we get there, but I don't enjoy talking about sex with people I haven't had sex with. Then he overcorrects and says we can just cuddle and get to know each other and he suggests we don't sleep together next time I'm in town. But it sounds fake! like he's just saying that because he thinks it's what I want to hear, and I don't want to hear that. I'm actually not ok with people who don't want sex ASAP, I just don't want to talk about it first.
Maybe I'm wanting him to have the maturity of a 40 year old and he just doesn't? But he's hot and he might be experienced. He says he is, but 27... 🤷♀️.
I'm just looking for fun, and on rereading what I've written, I think I'm trying justify seeing where this goes...
What does the void think?
I've tried it both ways. In my experience talking about it too much beforehand sets up unrealistic expectations. I'd rather just start feeling each other out and communicate as we go. It's what has worked for me. If the sex date doesn't work, I move on, so I don't see any reason to wait. I realize that my way doesn't work for everyone.
Just try not to make those assumptions about why he does what he does. Communicate your needs and expectations clearly so he can navigate them and have fun with it 🤘
Realize you are likely a fetish for him in some form and there is nothing wrong with that
This is a good point. It's possible the younger man pursuing an older woman part of the equation is what gives me pause. I have generally found younger men to be gross and inexperienced. Now that I know his age, I may be expecting him to be that guy... 😕
At 27, I had a spouse and a mortgage, but no kids. One other thing, he mentioned that he would like to have kids someday. That highlights that we are very different places in our lives. I'm starting to look forward to grandchildren even though that's probably 10 years away... 😕
Just try not to make those assumptions about why he does what he does. Communicate your needs and expectations clearly so he can navigate them and have fun with it 🤘
I met him last sunday. That is clearly stated in my post.
I think it's immature not to talk about sex before having sex. Like, I don't sext beforehand, but I at least discuss kinks, boundaries, and other compatabilities.
My "not talking about sex" comment was taken wrong by a few people, and I can totally see why. . . . My bad.
I don't discuss details about sex and sex acts beforehand. I'll talk in general terms and I already asked about STD testing. And when the times comes, I'll give him a few clear dos and donts...
This was taken wrong by a few people, and I can totally see why. . . . My bad.
I don't discuss details about sex and sex acts beforehand. I'll talk in general terms and I already asked about STD testing. And when the times comes, I'll give him a few clear dos and donts...
I don't know yet. I've spent 2 hours with him... Given the geography, I don't see how anything more than FWB would be an option.
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I've been doing the non-monogamy thing for nearly 10 years. I've been approached by far more 18 to 25-year-old men than I'm comfortable with. For the most part, they acted like they would be doing me a favor by fucking me rather than the other way around. And the couple I did fuck were terrible in bed and didn't take instruction well. So yeah, I'm wary of younger men due to my actual life experience.