Edit: WOW! I am amaaazed by all the kind, less kind, well thought out, meaningful and useful comments I've gotten! You're such a great community, with so many emotionally and relationally mature people! I'm so grateful. And hopeful!

I am blessed with many human connections in my life. Husband, kids, family, friends with and without benefits, fuck buddies and some even looser connections.I feel like I have a surplus of warmth, and I'm more than happy to share it. But recently, I've been feeling this need to be the one getting the warmth. I want to be the little one sometimes, to be cared for and treated gently and with softness.

My parents don't treat me softly, they just "know" that I can deal with stuff. In friendships, I often end up as a therapist. My husband is constantly working on self improvement within the framework of an open relationship, and we spend a lot of time working through his feelings together. I had a thing with the softest, gentlest man I know, and even he stopped trying to protect my feelings, expected me to carry all of his, excusing it with "you have it all and I have nothing" after falling in love with me. Not even the sweet guys make love to me, they fuck me.

I've asked my friends why. They tell me that I seem strong and independent, that I'm very analytical and emotionally mature. That I don't even have to open my mouth, even the way I dress shows that I'm confident.

My husband also says that men caring stems from protectiveness, and that because no man gets the feeling that he's special to me, because I don't depend on any man in any way, I don't evoke that protectiveness. And that my strong and unapologetic sexuality only enhances this dynamic.

Is this just the price I have to pay for nonmonogamy? Or is it possible to find some softness even for a strong slut?