Hi hi. So some quick background info -married to my current partner (33/NB AFAB) for almost 1 year -my (26/pansexual NB AFAB) first queer/lesbian relationship has been with them -after 3 years of being together I want to open up our relationship to explore my sexuality further —> always knew I was queer but now I’m realizing howww queer I am (so much so that I want to act on it)

They only want to have threesomes and I don’t. I’m open to them having sex with someone alone if they vibe with them and I don’t. I don’t know if it’s my fears but I’d rather remove myself from the situation beforehand and hear about how it went after than insert myself and see them vibing with someone else more when it’s supposed to be a three way thing.

I’d rather just accept it from the get-go that that situation is for them and that’s okay. They seem pretty firm on only having threesomes. I’m not.

I want to have the confidence and experience of being with a woman alone or going to play parties alone. I’ve never flirted with women, it’s something completely new to me and I want to feel confident in myself to be in those spaces solo and navigate consent, my attraction and the vibe.

Am I just being selfish or am I being honest about what I want and how I want it? How do we navigate this?