I (F34) started seeing my partner (M31) just over 10months ago. He has a primary nesting partner that he has had a lot of ups and downs with over the course of their relationship. They have a DADT ENM relationship so we aren’t really metas she hasn’t met me and I haven’t met her, she has no interest in meeting me. When it was last brought up she said no.

I want to be there for him emotionally when he is going through the downs. I am a caring person and being someone he can lean on or vent to is something I want to do for him.

That said my question is how do I navigate this as someone he also has a romantic relationship with? It is difficult for me to hear sometimes because I don’t like how he’s being treated but I can’t give advice as I don’t want to overstep and it also always affects our relationship, and I get treated differently based on how he is doing at home. What is the balance? How do I be there for him without turning into a therapist instead of a lover? This has been the hardest thing for me to navigate with being ENM because I don’t know what boundaries to place here, I want to be someone he can vent to but I hate hearing every other week how unhappy he is. Any advice?