I've been with my wife for 17 years. We did all of our homework in deciding to try enm, it's been maybe 15 months of therapy, reading, talking, podcasts. We decided to try this for fun, we have a really great relationship/sex, run a business together. In that time, my wife decided she's not really interested in pursuing anything for herself now or maybe ever. But she's very enthusiastic about me pursuing this. She does have a sharing kink and is very interested in seeing me with someone else (which is not any kind of requirement for someone that I would date).

It was actually today that I finally expressed my interest to a woman that I've had a crush on for a little while. Turns out she is not into the enm dynamic, but it was still an incredibly rewarding experience. I agonized about telling her. I've spent so much time with her (we work together 2 or 3 days a week) over the last year . She said she thinks I'm attractive and awesome and that she loves spending time with me, she knows my wife and kids, who love her, she's become a close friend. I told her that I love her as a friend, and that I deeply appreciate her friendship and I hope that I haven't creeped her out or harmed our friendship, and she said no way and she thinks we'll be friends for life and that I couldn't be creepy if i tried (which might be one of the best complimentsI've ever received). I feel the same way about her.

In a way, it was SO WEIRD! I felt the relief of telling her, but her reply never felt like a rejection. We talked and worked together for 2 hours after I told her, and while I knew that I really like her as a solid, wonderful human... I realized that since my mind was trying to decide what type of relationship we have, I didn't realize that she had become one of my best friends (the only people I spend more time with are my wife and kids). I feel such joy. A very unexpected level of joy and appreciation for her, for life, for everything. I feel like in one day I gained an incredible friend I didn't notice before.

She said she was very flattered and that she felt good about everything I said. Not the response I thought I had wanted, but this is beyond what I had hoped for in my first attempt to connect with someone outside of my marriage. I got to say how I felt and have my feelings acknowledged and appreciated. I'm still not sure why I feel SO MUCH joy about it, but I'm just feeling very, very grateful. Also, my wife was so awesome about this whole experience and I'm feeling proud of myself, and also proud of my friend for having such an easy going attitude. Thanks to this sub, which was one of the places I lurked to learn :)