Good evening all. Apologies for the long post. I (M36) have been in the process of opening my relationship with my partner (F31) for the last year. We have taken things slow and have communicated amazingly well during the entire process. Recently however we seem to have become a little stuck with many intense conversations (thanks for the advice on another post) and I was wondering if you have any more wisdom for me.

So I haven’t had much luck dating (6 or 7 dates) and have been mostly ghosted after which is frustrating but I guess the nature of the game. So I do feel a little of put going on more. My partner has had more success and has dated and had sex with a few people more than once. The point that is worrying now is the original idea of opening up was that we would find someone to meet once a month as a side to our relationship. Now after a date last week my partner has said she can imagine having feelings for others and isn’t sure how this will look in the future. This change of heart has hurt me and left me feeling a bit lost. My partner has done nothing wrong, I guess it’s just the increased uncertainty now (although everything is uncertain).

I’m clearly over reacting and need to continue to focus on myself and soothing in order for everything to work out (the other option is to break up out of fear, which is what my anxiety can scream but I know it’s not the right way). I am currently going to therapy and we are even going to start couples therapy, so we are doing all the right things.

So my question(s) for you all is, so I sit tight and continue to focus on my attachment history and myself and see how things play out. Or what steps would you put in place? As we really are an incredible couple and in my logical rational brain I can see this working out and our relationship continuing to blossom, patience and work in equal measures I guess.