I (30M) broke up with my (24F) ex girlfriend. I was living away from home, so I would go see my mom and sister 1-2 weekends a month. I made sure to spend as much time as I could during the week with her. She was very needy for attention. My mom had a stroke, so I had to go down more to help her as she couldn’t walk well. My ex had started upping pressure that felt like controlling me over little things about a year into relationship. Finally, she gave me an ultimatum that I couldn’t see family as much. She wasn’t close with hers, so she didn’t understand why I was so close. She had had a guy friend who was good looking and tall but she said they were just friends because he didn’t work much and smoked weed. I always wondered if she had something going with him. When I told her I had to go help my mom, she said that wasn’t acceptable. I went no contact several weeks to decompress.

During this time, she threatened suicide. I reached back out, and we met for dinner. We talked about our differences. That I didn’t want to move far from family, was unsure about kids, etc. she wanted to move to a large city across the country since she said she was an immigrant and career driven (medical field). I told her I couldn’t move but what about comprising to a big city nearby. She said no. We didn’t reconcile then a month or so later after we talked she started posting romantic photos with a new guy.

I approached her and told her I loved her. We met a couple times. Last time we met, she invited me inside her apartment. She cried and let me lay down and kiss her. No sex. She was physically shaking and said I would have children with someone else. I talked to her. She watched me walk down hall from her door. I turned around and saw her watching me leave like always. I came back for one kiss. I didn't know this was the last time I'd ever see or talk to her.

A few months pass. I was willing to compromise on having children. She was mad at me and threw off on my hair thinning (just a little not much) and would throw off on my appearance. She told me she was happy, had fixed her issues, and didn’t want to be with me anymore. She said I should move back close to my family and insinuated I’d be alone with dogs. What hurts is years later I still have feelings for her when I think of her. I unfriended her because I couldn’t see her with a new guy. I sometimes think about reaching out (3 years later now). I loved her, and I know I wasn't perfect. for example, I had issues opening up to tell her I loved her because I've been hurt by people including family in the past. What are your thoughts on my relationship with her? Do you think she used me going to see my mother to force a breakup? Do you think she ever loved me or might now? Am I crazy to miss her or want to contact after so long? Should I contact her?