Sorry if that title makes no sense, this is the best way I can articulate my problem and I do hope to hear your opinions...

I realized that every time I use Nitrous I end up travelling to this awesome, but dark world, where the only thing I can think about are negative thoughts, questions like "was it my fault?" "am i a bad guy" and it kind of kills the high for me. I end up spending the rest of the evening (or the rest of the box) doing the entire box, then going to buy another box lol. Patrick gave me some wonderful advice(you da man patrick), but I would really like to know what are some good coping skills you all use. I am thinking I just need to take a long break from Nitrous period because its lost the point of enjoyability for me, or at least as of now...

Without sharing too many details, I basically got punched in the face for no reason, by someone I consider my best friend and now I may need surgery. We have been mates since childhood and I know he was just messing around with me but it is a very strange morally ambiguous area. He did not mean to do what he did, and I dont think either of us know why he did what he did, but now I may end up with a scar across my face and a crooked nose because of his poor decision making. Ironically, he snapped on me even though it was "his fault." I don't know why he thought to hit me, we were all drinking and partying having a good time but he is my best friend and is now living regretfully with some of his decisionmaking and I am living regretfully with some of my decisionmaking and basically nothing makes sense lol

Sorry this is the best way I could articulate my problem, if anybody has a solution to this, I am all ears becuase I freakin love doing nitrous and I've found that I am having a hard time enjoying it since this incident.