Dear Mayor Adams,

I saw you on Centre Street just now with your "Mayor" shirt you wear and your entourage like you're some cross between a WWE hype man and a circus clown. Just a few feet away is this thing called the Brooklyn Bridge. I know you're from New Jersey so this may not be familiar to you. As I was biking over it, as I do every day, I was nearly killed by six separate mopeds/gas-powered scooters in the bike lane. The two cops playing Candy Crush on the Brooklyn side aren't helping much, and having zero cops on the Manhattan side sure as shit isn't helping much. Free advice: have one of those cops put his fucking phone down, come over to the Manhattan side, and stop all these dickbags driving their motorized vehicles in the motherfucking bike lane.

Next, just take two more cops, tell them to pause Candy Crush, have them remove all the vendors on the Brooklyn Bridge walkway. All of them. They can set up camp by your office just over the bridge.

And there you go. With a little actual effort, you can do a lot. I know you're busy going out to clubs and flying to other countries and wearing your Mayor shirt but give it some thought, you fucking clown