i kinda didnt know this was a genuine thing with a community, but i am 13 years old and have an extreme fear of growing up. i know im still a kid technically but i cry before bed every night as time is going on and i know ill have to start acting a certain way. until i was about 11 years old, i would try to act like an adult and very mature as much as i could. but for the last 2 years of my life i realised how much that had hurt me and i decided i can try to slowly act how i genuinely want in private spaces, like online, or with my mom (shes kinda the only person im comfortable with irl). but every since i have done this, i also see how little time i have left now. i realise once i am at a certain age, acting this way wont be acceptable online or in private either anymore. it makes me wanna throw up. i really wish i could stop time and stay 13 forever. im always told about how great and mature and mindful my actions are by others and its because i just think about everything im gonna say before i actually do. my fear has gotten so bad this year ive genuinely considered just lying about my age even if i do grow up just so i can act the way i want at least with people who dont know my real age