hey all, i hope everyone here’s having a good day :) i’ve had some mental difficulties lately and i was wondering if people who are familiar with the subject can help me out, so i can figure out what might be happening (i’m not going to self diagnose, i’m just curious as to where i should start, because i currently don’t have any idea what’s going on). i know this isn’t a subreddit for anyone to try and diagnose anyone else, but if anyone may have any pointers for me, i would really appreciate it!!

i’ve had a lot of trouble understanding what texts mean. like, my partner will text me “good morning” and i’ll start overthinking and be like “okay, so what does that mean?” i know it means good morning, but what does it... mean? it doesn’t make any sense as to why i’m confused, but i’m confused anyway. i also get very confused over the tone of a lot of text messages, and when the confusion is bad enough, i start to panic. i also just feel confused in general, like even when i’m fully awake and well rested i’m just not fully present.

also, when someone says something that upsets me enough, i have to “process” it - this means i have to think about it again and again until it feels right, and then and only then can i move on to the next topic. also, i usually have a song stuck in my head, i have to finish processing the information by the time the song ends. if i can’t finish it in time, or if it doesn’t “feel right”, then i have to do it again until it feels right. this is my biggest issue - i have to take 5-10 minutes at a time to process things, usually at least 5 times a day. it upsets me to have to stop what i’m doing and focus on this one subject, and it upsets other people that they have to wait for me (because if people talk when i’m processing, i have to start all over again). also sometimes i just feel like i don’t understand things enough, even if i’m not confused about anything, and i have to go over it again and again, which can trigger the “processing” thing. sometimes not understanding things or not understand what other people mean makes me feel like i’m almost not a regular person with regular emotions.

i’ve been very unmotivated and it’s hard for me to sit still, or else i zone out or HAVE to start doing something. i’ve been playing with my hair all the time, because i like how it feels, and because it calms me down. i have really bad memory, and i feel anxious a lot. loud noises are fine, but multiple noises played over each other (or too many conversations overlapping, like for example, people talking at a party) makes me very anxious.

sorry for the really long post everyone! i’m definitely not going to self diagnose, but if anyone could help me as to where i could start, i would really appreciate it. thank you :)