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We won but bad neighbor is now bullying another family.
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We posted a few weeks ago about fighting with our neighbors about putting a fence up. They were constantly harassing and stalking us. They also had connections with the city and were using them to keep us from getting the proper permits to build a privacy fence. We hired a lawyer and were able to get what we needed.

Since we won and there is an order in for them to only interact in emergency situations, they have changed their focus. They were already fighting with another neighbor but have upped their harassment since we beat them. She is a single mom and works a couple jobs. Her mother helps where she can as well. The kids are young, loud, and somewhat destructive. Theyā€™re kids. They also respect their mother and destruction stays in the backyard. Thereā€™s toys, lawn chairs, and a trampoline with half the safety net torn down in the back. The grass gets a little tall but she has a riding lawnmower to make it easier to try to keep up.

Three nights ago, I was out with our dogs and I could hear yelling. Dogs were on alert but did not bark so I knew it was him. Our dogs are trained to leave him alone. He was yelling at the SM for the condition of her yard and that itā€™s hurting the value of his property as well as offending his sight. These are actually things written in our city code. He screamed about her lawn needing mowed. She was behind because her mower broke. He saw me watching and trudged inside. She went back in her home as well. About 20 minutes before dark I hear a mower and look out to see the SM push mowing her yard, kids crying on the porch, and the bad neighbor standing at the fence yelling to hurry up so he can get his mower back.

We have footage from our cameras and have offered to refer her to our lawyer if she wishes to pursue for harassment. We have also given her contact information for getting permits for a fence. We are building ours ourselves and would be willing to do the work if she wants to get the supplies. She has limited resources and really canā€™t afford any of that. She keeps saying she just needs to be a better neighbor.

Would we be overstepping if we offered to see if our lawyer would work for a free or discounted rate as well as helping buy the supplies on a payment plan? We just donā€™t want her to end up fighting him as long as we did. He has been reported to the police as well and there is an open investigation but if itā€™s like ours, he has enough pull to get out of trouble. We have the means to help and both of us are former single parents. Are we crazy for wanting to step up?

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Iā€™m just tired of people being bullied. I also donā€™t want to become the bully myself.

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I know you donā€™t know me, but those are some of my favorite movies. Thank you for the inspiration.

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Thatā€™s good advice. And we definitely donā€™t know each other well. We did just have a huge storm roll through and cause some damage. I have guys from the neighborhood set to help with chainsaws and trailers for clean up. It will be a good time to offer some help with cleanup and anything else.

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Hereā€™s what I know and some of it comes from actually talking with them and some is from what was dug up during our legal battle. They have been together for almost 20 years. Been engaged 14 but never married. Everything they have is in her name. She is pushing 70 and he is mid 50s. They have a contracting business that currently being sued by multiple clients for not finishing work or not doing it properly. He left his first marriage for her and had a 3 month old at that time. His kids from his first marriage hate him. Most of their social interactions are things that they invite themselves to. We are in a state where marijuana use is illegal and she claims to use it for medical purposes and he smokes with her. I have no issues with people who smoke but donā€™t be a bully and I wonā€™t use it against you. They are not above lying to the police to get what they want. They have been this way for years as we have testimony from previous renters. When our house went up for sale they put in a ridiculously low offer. According to the realtor they would always be out back doing something to ā€œscareā€ buyers away. The only time they smile is when they cause drama and think theyā€™re going to win. After our judgment they are almost acting like theyā€™re unhinged.

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We know she has help and Iā€™ve run into her around town. Sheā€™s very independent and I donā€™t want to be chauvinistic by offering to ā€œfightā€ her battle. The BN just crossed that line and pissed me off. We have a saying in our house ā€œMess we me and I will let Karma sort it out. Mess with my family (or those that are weaker than you) I will become Karma.ā€

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Honestly weā€™re all pretty great. We have neighborhood barbecues and all of our kids know each other and get along well. Heā€™s been the exception to the rule. Heā€™s was this way before we got there. The privacy fence was our truce but he did not accept that. Before anyone asks, we used to invite him and they have always said no.

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We brought her into the neighborhood group today. Sheā€™s been sheepish because of the single mom aspect. She will be joining the next big bbq. Sheā€™s not ready for the lawyer but knows to let us know when she needs help.

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We started that way and they called the cops and played innocent. Part of why we have a dozen cameras around our place.

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We had a lot happen since this post. Our NFH is still terrorizing but was shown that we have all have had enough. SM has joined our group and the older kids have picked up babysitting for her to help get caught up. We also all pitched in and found a new trampoline and swingset for her kids.

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Age may play into it but only in that itā€™s increased their need to share their misery.

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It partially that but some of those connections were disciplined and made to apologize over not granting our fence permit. Heā€™s also got customers talking him to court. I think a big issue is that their world is getting smaller and theyā€™re lashing out.

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We all do what we can to get along with everyone. We like our little corner of the world. Thereā€™s kids of all ages and they all get along and play together. We all watch out for each other and help when itā€™s needed. In this crazy world weā€™d rather lend a hand than look for reasons to hate.

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5 months ago