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Bearded, chubby dude in a relationship seeking discretion. I'll totally send you pics and totally not be a jerk if you're not interested.
I'm a professional fella and amateur weirdo seeking someone for something. Presumably, we will chat, I will try possibly too hard to be charming, and if you're a total sucker chump we'll eventually meet. But don't let my description of such a good time be the one thing on my resume that elicits a call back, let me also list things: 1) on at least 2 separate occasions I will shoehorn in a "big word" to seem smart. 2) I will start out very flippant but will come to find a way to express my genuine care; I have lots to offer. 3) I will reward any boosts to my self esteem with a system of "affection units". These units can be redeemed at Quiznos and have a 1/100 cent cash value. 4) I will try very hard to make you laugh, but I will also know when it's time to give you that leer.
I'm open to most walks of life. Reach out and I'll send you your digital affection unit wallet with one starter token. It is a limited time offer but if you go all Karen on me I'll probably acquiesce.
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- 2 years ago
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