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I’m basically the best guy you could ever meet. Even my own mom asked me to date her daughter. I love the rain and the sound of grasshoppers playing on my phone when I go to sleep. I’m a total 10, but out of humbleness I tell people I’m only an 8.5. When you hold my hand, it’s never clammy. I’m also 6’6, but my scoliosis makes me look 6’2, so any pics together won’t look too weird. Sounds too good to be true right? Now here is what I require from any potential AP looking to get with this fine piece of ass.
1- Blood type must be AB
2- Your looks cause you to be mistaken for Catherine Zeta Jones.
3- Listen intently to my conversations with you about Bitcoin and just missing my parlay.
4- Always be down for hosting, but I only will go if the suite has a hot tub in it.
5- Know all the evolutions of each Pokemon.
6- When my wife is gone, promptly come over and clean my house.
7- Can run a sub 4 minute mile.
8- Play taps on a trumpet for every Patriotic holiday.
9- Can put down a 24 pack of Busch Light in one sitting, but still have the body of a swimsuit model.
10- Be as reliable, dependable, and sexy as a 2024 Dodge Durango
Applicants inquire within
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