Hi there! Thanks very much for clicking and firstly I just want to say sorry for forcing you to read my hugely bland posting title - I am happy you could see past it. You know it’s funny because I have spent so long lurking here, and in recent times thinking about what I might write in my own post (an early apology for the essay I have written below haha), but actually it was only today that I realised the posting title (particularly on this sub where they’re all so good) is arguably the most important bit…hmmm, anyway, I am already rambling and we haven’t even started yet! So…

My situation: ok so I guess this is the bit where I write what everyone else does on here, about how I’m basically happily married, and not looking to change anything, but yet am obviously driven to the edges of the internet in the selfish pursuit of the bits that are missing. And this is all true (as it is for all for us), and I spend time wondering if that makes me a bad person, and I guess yeh, maybe it does, but there is some comfort in knowing (assuming someone is reading this haha) that you are too, probably, and that we have found each other before we get so old that we can’t even remember how to login to Reddit.

I also think that everyone who has been married/attached a certain length of time probably feels this way, and that it’s just a spectrum, with maybe the biggest thrill seekers (and most interesting ones?) being those who might think about putting a post up on here to find one of the others. But maybe that’s just making myself feel better, as I wander around looking at every woman about my age and wondering if she’s ever thought about cheating…

And that leads me on to the reason my idle wondering and reading of this page for fun has turned into me actually posting, and that was a very random, and sadly brief encounter a few weeks back, the graphic details of which I’ll spare here (but are very much available on request for anyone who wants them haha), but which has lit a fire inside of me that I just can’t extinguish now. So here I am, writing a lot of words on the internet, sending out a little distress signal, and hoping it gets picked up.

Me and what I hope to find: ok so conscious this is already going on a long time, and also that you’re unlikely to feel madly attracted to me simply because of my over use of commas and inability to get to the point, so I’ll throw modesty to one side here and just say that horrible phrase that I ‘have been told I’m good looking’ (I shuddered as I wrote that…)

I’m 6ft 2, slim and sporty (damn testosterone), with lots of dark hair and a sort of European (I guess?) complexion - I don’t think I look too bad at all for 40 really, not that that really gets me anywhere in life haha

I’m here for two things, the first of more importance, which is an emotional connection, and a spark that lights up my day when I see it - I have no set ‘type’ in terms of age, look or location even (although the uk would be great we do have planes!), but I want someone who’s confident and ideally funny, maybe a bit weird (although I think everyone on Reddit meets this criteria), who can challenge me, so we can both drive each other into a deeper emotional and physical connection.

I also am, and I think I need to just be honest about this (as I feel from reading many posts over the years that men and women on here are sometimes a bit mismatched on this…) that I do have a high sex drive, and I want someone who does too, even if it’s a bit out of practice! That doesn’t obviously mean I want this in our first discussion, or that I’m just here for us to get off, I wouldn’t have written all this just for that, but equally I don’t want a pen pal, or just someone to be emotional with, although that connection has to be there first. I won’t labour this point, and hope it’s not misunderstood, but did feel I should be honest :)

And that now feels like it’s probably enough! I shall stop writing and hope that someone somewhere has made it through, not been put off by anything, and might feel inclined to send me a message…