This goes against my instincts but I’m going to brag about myself here. I’m usually very loathe to talk myself up but you know, if there’s a time to do it maybe it’s here.

So about me:

Do you like blue eyes? How about “dreamy” blue eyes? (How am I doing at bragging so far?)

I’m smart and pride myself on knowing at least a little about a lot of things and a lot about a few things.

I’m 6’1 and in good shape. Perfect shape? Fitness model shape? Definitely not, but I can run a 6 minute mile and bench press my weight a bunch of times so not bad by any means.

I’m a really amazing girl dad.

I have a great job that I like. I’m constantly exploring whether it’s the right job for me but I have a niche that I am an expert in and I enjoy that.

I’m bald but like…good bald. And I have an awesome beard, but not an obnoxious beard.

I’m good in bed. I love giving oral and I’m vocal in bed.

I have at least one sexual superpower.

I have a great dick. In fact, my dick won gold at the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. They played the Star Spangled Banner for it and everything.

I’m good at talking to people. I can keep a conversation going.

I’m funny. (Praise me)

Since I’m here to brag I’m probably just all around better than the vast majority of guys you’ll find in this weird little corner of the internet. I’m great in the real world but basically a Reddit 11. (Note that I kind of mean this and it kind of makes me want to curl up into a ball of shame)

*So who am I looking for? *

Someone funny. Seriously. Humor is so important. No pressure but making me laugh is huge.

Someone HWP or so. Nobody needs to be model thin but I like active pursuits and connect with people who also do. (Thick thighs are great when they deadlift, although we all know deadlifts work the whole posterior chain).

Someone who is confident in at least some areas of life.

Someone who is generally happy in their marriage but knows they have the capacity for more excitement.

Some things of note:

-I won’t be available all the time but you’ll know if I’m into you. I’ll make it very clear.

I want to talk about sex. I also want to talk about not sex. Tell me your kinks. Tell me how long it took you to solve the Thursday crossword. (Thursday is the worst crossword day). I want to hear both.

I’d like you to be close enough that meeting up is an option. That doesn’t have to mean down the street but across the country probably isn’t going to work.

Ok I’ve rambled enough. I’m great! I bet you are too! Let’s chat.