Life’s funny that way, isn’t it? You start off thinking everything is fine—perfect, even—and then one day, you're sitting in your parked car outside the grocery store, eating a bag of chips for dinner and wondering why you're having a deeper conversation with the radio DJ than your spouse. That’s when it hit me: maybe it’s time to explore the extra room in the house of love, if you know what I mean.

First, let’s clear one thing up—I’m not looking for a quickie in the backseat of said car (though, let’s be honest, I do keep it pretty clean). I’m talking about something a little more... substantial. Like, the kind of connection where we can exchange existential texts at 2 a.m. about why avocados never ripen until they’re already rotten, and also, you know, occasionally sneak away for something a little more exciting than split bills and shared Netflix accounts.

Let’s talk about reliability. I’m basically a human calendar—if you say you want to meet at 6:30, I’ll be there at 6:29, already thinking about appetizers. None of that flaky “Sorry, my goldfish is sick” stuff. I’m here for you when you need someone to vent to about life, work, or why your barista just can’t get your name right on the cup. (It’s not that hard, Greg.)

And while we’re on the subject of being present, I want to make it clear that this isn’t a drive-thru arrangement. We’re not just hitting “order” and speeding off to the next distraction. No, I’m talking about those slow-cooked, simmering connections—the kind where we actually build something meaningful before we even think about, well, anything else.

But don’t worry—I’ve been around the block (and not in the weird, sketchy way). I’m not here to sabotage anyone’s life or turn your world upside down. Think of me as your reliable co-pilot on this wild ride. I know how to keep things discreet, balanced, and above all, drama-free. Because, let's be real, no one has time for that “we got caught at the hotel and now everything’s on fire” storyline. This isn’t a soap opera—it’s just two people who know how to keep life compartmentalized.

Oh, and speaking of keeping things balanced—I take care of myself. I’m not looking to show up on your doorstep looking like a character from The Walking Dead after a long workday. I keep it together, mentally and physically, because if I can’t show up as my best self, how am I supposed to offer you anything worthwhile? Besides, those late-night existential texts are way more fun when you’re not wondering if I’m secretly a troll living under a bridge.

So, if you’re feeling like something’s missing, and you want to explore what a real connection feels like—one built on trust, mutual respect, and, yes, the occasional avocado rant—drop me a line. Let’s be real about what we need, share some laughs, and see where this takes us. And don’t worry—I’ve got snacks.

After all, love isn’t limited—it’s like chips. There’s always more in the bag than you think.