The short version for those of us with attention spans shortened by TikTok…

Sexy AF (if I do say so myself 🤣) 54yo man seeks a daytime playmate for frolics in the grass and butterfly chasing…. OR we can hole up in a hotel room for some kinky sex.

Guaranteed it’ll be the best three minutes of your life, or your money back!!

The longer version…

WHO am I… 54, happily married, tall & manly, outgoing, gregarious, Type A. I spend most of my free time on cooking, photography, or running. A bit nerdy at times, I play wordle every day. All of the recent books I’ve read have taken the form of audiobooks while running. I value simplicity, but am a complicated mix of contradictions like everyone else. I mostly avoid social media.

WHO am I looking for…. A woman that’s happily in a long term relationship, over 35 (my rule is that you can’t be young enough to realistically be my child!), someone with the ability to be away during the day without constant accountability. I typically prefer feminine women, but don’t have a preference for one body type over another. While physical attraction is importance, I value attitude & enthusiasm over the size of someone’s ass.

WHY I’m interested in a new extracurricular relationship… while I’m happily married, our sex life is a little lackluster and vanilla. I want to spice things up on occasion and find that I’ve enjoyed having a fun, secret relationship.

WHAT I’m looking for… I want a fun relationship without drama. We should be an outlet for each other, not a source of stress. Let’s start with a chat here, then move to Telegram. We’ll spend a few days getting to know each other with a mix of basic and thoughtful questions. Some flirting.

Within a week we’ll have coffee or lunch. Let’s see if the chemistry that we worked on shows up in person.

Once we’re ready for intimacy… it’ll be fun. Kinky. Erotic. Steamy. Carnal. Lustful.

We’ll figure out how frequent we can get together.. sometimes life gets in the way and it’ll be once a month, sometimes the frequency will increase to once a week.

So there you go… two ads for the price of one! A short version, and a long version.

If you’re interested and read this far, send me a DM. Say hi, and tell me what your favorite order at Starbucks is right now. I’ll need to know what to have waiting on you next week.