Someone I was once with reminded me that I used to write these elaborate love letters they could almost read as stories. That she felt it was a shame that I wasn’t writing like that anymore. I hadn’t necessarily stopped writing after her, but “words of affirmation” is not one of my partner’s languages. Neither is physical touch as I have learned, but acts of service is the right one in this case. So, instead I now use my hands to build and fix things at home, save us on having to call professionals. Instead I use my words to make up stories for the kids and to negotiate deals on the things we need. I don’t necessarily mind, I feel useful and have become the sort of go to person not just at home but with my clients. Unfortunately, at the end of the week the tank is empty, and waiting for someone to fill up the tank is a bit fruitless, and growing up in a tough it out kind of household, you keep going. I have to admit I miss connecting in a relationship that doesn’t involve fixing the kitchen stove or working on the car. I miss sharing romantic thoughts and forms of affection, and feeling the excitement that comes with that. Maybe you do too and this post connects with you in some way. Maybe you wrote letter too, or shared great conversations and would like that again. The least we can do is find out if we’re on the same page.