Cross posted

Hello everyone ! I struggled to figure out where to post this in. I think this best place because my parent is spender and I’m saver.I had a clear and concise budget on what to spend on my parent and grandparent which was 100 each. Next year I’m cutting that in half or doing handmade gifts only. But my parent does not respect my budget what so over they requested 130 perfume bottle tried to man handle me to get it. I told them no I’m only giving 100 dollars. Tried to convince me and gas light me to get them 70 dollars flowers I didn’t do it.

Furthermore, tried stick me with paying for half of a shipping bill that I didn’t know about beforehand. I told them I need to know about these extra cost because I assumed since it’s was the parent idea to send everything in a box. They will pay for it or they would let me know from the beginning so I could adjusted what I can spend on an actual gift but nope. On top of that they asked to borrow twenty dollars to put in said box then tried not give back to me. They were like ohhh well I paid shipping are you going to give me half on shipping. Luckily they sent me the twenty dollars ,but it’s not the money. It’s about the attempts to extort,gas light, and trying to focus me to pay for stuff on the back end which makes me feel unsafe. I’m saver and frugal because it’s empowering no surprises and allows me adjust my budget accordingly. Plus allows me to save for real emergency like I need a family law lawyer earlier this year without my vigorous budgeting I wouldn’t have been able too .Additionally, I need a car badly which what I’m saving for. No family or parent to help just me super unfortunate but getting there .The only issue is that they are spiteful now they are requesting I pay 60 dollars for adding me on there dental even though it’s was free before all this because I want boundaries regarding my spending and priorities. Also they pressured me to go half on a cake I didn’t even want. They ambushed me even though I tried to tell them no I don’t want this cake why do I have go half. This has me wanting to cancel Christmas dinner now because for Thanksgiving dinner I was left paying the whole bill my parent cooked but between the crab,garlic noddles,and drink my parent paid for nothing when they were suppose to cover everything outside crab since that cost the most.

Not to mention, my parent basically trying to say if I don’t buy them stuff I’m not showing appreciation for her. I’m like I can appreciate you and not buying you everything you want because your overspend all the time. I tried to say everything I said in the forum in non judgemental reaffirming way non hostile but it triggered my parent anyway. I love the help I receive sometimes it’s convenient though my parent charges sometimes. For context, I have a toddler with ASD single parent live in HCOL in college part time job, this parent is the only help I get. Thank you for reading. Having boundaries is a huge part of being frugal when financial literacy is so low in USA.