For as long as I can remember, my mother made everything about money, including our medical needs. I have sleep apnea and have not seen a pulmonologist in three years because it cost money. My mother had gastric bypass surgery and hasn’t seen her gastric therapist in over two years because it cost money, and when I was 16 I almost lost my mother to diabetic ketoacidosis after I told her several times she needed to go to a hospital and she kept saying she can’t go, it costs money!

Well, ever since I moved out of my parents house, me and my mother would hang out every once in a while. And whenever I made these slightest comment about me needing financial help, she would always respond with “I can’t afford to pay your rent”. Like OK I don’t need your help to pay my rent but it’s good to know that whenever I do you won’t be able to help me!

Recently, I’ve been having some trouble with the brakes on my car and it will cost $800 to have it fixed and both of my parents kept saying that I should’ve gotten to them sooner about the issues with my brakes because it would cost them less money. The problem is I’m always afraid to ask them for money because every time I do it’s an argument. And she repeatedly comments about how she can’t afford to pay my rent even when I don’t want or need her help.

I would’ve rather had my car burst into flames then ask my parents for help because every time I do, it’s always an argument.