My mother and I got into a screaming match because of the bag I put her gift in. I wish I was kidding, but this did happen today.

I picked up my mother and drove to the beach, so I could take pictures of her dog, and she asks me, “you know, I have other bags for gifts, you could’ve asked me for one.” Honestly, this pissed me off. I’d put her gift in a brown, gift bag with a little tissue paper on top. Nothing super nice, but the gift inside was vegan candy she’d wanted for a long time. In response to her saying that, I told her I knew she did but the brown bag was fine to me. This kept going with her eventually asking why I didn’t pick something nicer.

Once we got to the beach it came up again with her telling me to stop “acting like a girl” over some snide comment she said to me. I told her it hurt my feelings to have her say that, to which she scoffed and said I was harassing her by pushing the subject. And then she threw her hands up and walked away from me. I was done so we went to the car and got into a huge fight. She screamed so loud that my ear still hurts and she kept crying and shutting down if I tried to tell her I didn’t pick the bag to be rude. I even said sorry multiple times but she kept saying she had to defend herself.

I still live with my parents, so this is extremely awkward and tense. My mother told me, on the drive back, she thinks there’s an ulterior motive underneath my “shitty gift bag” to hurt her and make her feel rejected.

Am I in the wrong here? I feel horrible now and I hope that I wasn’t the one to spur this on. But I dont think I can be responsible someone getting so mad at me they scream so loud my ear hurts. Or am I responsible for her throwing the car door open, as I’m pulling out of the parking lot, and saying, “let me the fuck out right now! You’re harassing me!” Am I an asshole because I put her gift in a plain bag? Was I in the wrong when she said, “fuck you!” to me after I tried to explain I wasn’t trying to hurt her with a gift bag?

I feel insane.