(The title is to help me write this)

Today, I started to believe that I’m going to accept the steps that must be taken to recover from my NPD and it’s symptoms. The answer is I need to start ‘low’. In other words, I need to start with goals that are attainable. I can see the path forward now.

So far, my behaviour pattern is a cycle which first, starts with the belief that I can reach a high-status position, the belief that I can attain this position quickly an easily, and therefore an ignorance about how a high-status position is actually attained (risk, hard work, teamwork and so on). Then, followed by feelings of shame, despair, hopelessness and a low mood as I attempt to complete my goals and because I cannot attain the position quickly and easily, and by a view of myself as a failure. Then, it starts again because imagining myself in the high-status position improves my mood. Nothing changes. The cycle continues. My situation is worse. It isn’t better.

I have to start with attainable goals. The goals could be easy. A goal could be eat a healthy dinner. That could be the only goal. The point is to complete the goal and get a positive feeling. For someone with NPD, this is easier said than done. These goals might normally be repulsive to the narcissist since, in their view, they are brilliant and only capable of great things. Also, achieving goals that are viewed by the narcissist as mediocre and getting some positive emotion from them might reveal to the narcissist their true path, which is a normal one that requires hard work, etc. But I believe today that it’s the only place to start for my recovery. I wanted to write this post to strengthen this belief. If anyone has any comments, then I’d love to read them.

Thank you for reading my post