My partner and I are expecting our first (and only) and are deciding on a last name. I've asked around a few Facebook groups about what non-traditional couples have done, and whilst the suggestions are pretty predictable (merge/hyphenate/new surname) it's really starting to grate how people always seem to reference a mysterious friend having mysterious unclear 'problems' at mysterious borders and when directly asked about the nature of these interactions the OP vanishes in to thin air!

Honestly I understand why people would be worried about this happening, but how realistic is it? I am an immigrant living in my partner's country so I take this stuff seriously. Thought y'all might have some insight, thanks!