This is long so for anyone bearing with me, thank you in advance.

One of the only things that bothers me about my wife's desire to transition is the money involved. We are Canadian, so the things that are free are affordable that are available to her are:

HRT and other prescriptions Bottom surgery (Obstensibly) Some mental healthcare

That's it. Companies also do not have insurance policies or employee health and wellness plans that include gender-affirming care. Meaning all other expenses must be paid for out of pocket.

It is super important to my wife to 'pass'. But if I'm being honest, she has a lot of masculine qualities. She is 6'4" for one, broad shoulders, receded hairline, and a large nose, and of course, facial and body hair. I really, truly hope HRT does some magic but being realistic, she just can't/won't pass without certain things. To be clear, it doesn't particularly matter to me if she passes or not, but I want her to be comfortable in her own body.

We're a family of limited means. That means different things to different people, but we have really, truly struggled for many years to get out of the poverty trap, and just barely made it out and are still kind of at a mean subsistence level. Not only that, but we're in our 30s so time feels like it's running short. Long story short- unless our financial situation changes drastically and soon, we'll never be able to afford the gender-affirming care she needs. A rough estimate would he 60k for the basics.

I just feel so defeated. I see how bad her dysohoria hurts her. I want it to stop asap. But the situation feels bleak since it's almost certainly years, if not a full decade away from possibly coming to fruition.

Definitely looking for advice or ideas from anyone, you guys are great at it <3