Posted here before. I'm trans nb and identify as gay as in attracted to men and men-adjacent.. basically just not women. My partner is AMAB and currently identifies as nb. They have been exploring feminine presentation which I do not mind and actually love on "boys".

An hour ago they told me they were going to try and get an appointment with a doctor to look into medically transitioning.

I couldn't muster energy to give a fake, positive reaction. Immediately got anxious. Crying. Both of us feel awful. We're about to get our own place together. I plan(ned?) on proposing in a few years. First partner I have felt an actual urge to have biological children.

They are bisexual so I have a hard time explaining why this is so upsetting. They are so early along I know it will likely be a few years before "she" and such but I know it will be coming and I have no idea what to do anymore. They are what gives me motivation to do life (drive, job, etc) and I have been planning a life with them in my head. But I am not attracted to women or the effects of Estrogen. I am just not and I feel like a huge asshole.

Just a vent I guess. I feel terrified and guilty for wishing this will just go away.