Hey everyone,

I’m a cis gay man and recently started dating a really great guy who happens to be a gay trans man. We’ve been on two dates so far, and we both are already feeling a connection. This is the first time I’ve dated a trans person, and I want to approach this relationship with as much respect and understanding as possible. I know there might be dynamics I’m unfamiliar with, and I’m here to ask for advice on how I can educate myself and navigate this relationship in a supportive, informed way.

The two dates we’ve had were fun and relaxed, and we’ve clicked really well. He’s smart, kind, and incredibly easy to talk to. I’m definitely into him and excited to see where this could go. However, I want to make sure that I’m being thoughtful and considerate when it comes to understanding his experiences as a trans man, and I don’t want to come across as ignorant or insensitive in any way.

I know that, as a cis guy, I don’t fully understand what it’s like to be trans, but I want to learn and ensure I’m a good partner. I’m not entirely sure what I should ask, what’s appropriate to talk about, or where to begin in educating myself.

If anyone has been in a similar situation—either as a cis person dating a trans person or as a trans person dating a cis partner—I’d really appreciate your advice on how to approach these early stages of our relationship. What are some key things I should know or avoid? How can I be a thoughtful and caring partner while also educating myself?

If you have any book or resource recommendations that could help me better understand trans issues in relationships, I’m all ears. I want to make sure I’m doing my part to learn, without putting that responsibility on him.

Thanks in advance for any guidance or advice you can give! I’m really excited about this relationship and just want to make sure I’m approaching it in the best possible way.

I also have some questions so if you’d like to dm me and have a conversation that would be great but not required.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!