I am 34 years old and I lost my mom when I was 10.

Every now, and then I am still overcome with grief.

Recently, I was on a walk. I could've sworn that if I had just been able to want it a little bit more, I could have willed myself to have one day with her now. As who we are today. I felt like me desire was so intense that the powers that be couldn't possibly say no.

Like I forget even now that she is gone forever.

I hate being so familiar with grief.

Tonight I found pictures capturing my mom looking at me. I've never seen them before.

The way she's looking at me...

I've seen my friends look at their kids that way. I just never knew that it was for me once.

I've been crying off and on for like three hours.

Losing a parent never stops sucking.