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Examples of enmeshment?
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I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and at first I used to really like his mom but she’s super invasive amongst other things. We both recently had to move back into our parents house and live apart after being together for 5 years basically. I don’t speak with her because I know she talks poorly of me and tries to influence things. I’m going to list some things to get opinions as well as wanting to know things I might not have thought of. I don’t want to put more time into this if it’shust going to get bad. I live 45 minutes away and that’s already made it hard.

She would say he hates when she’s mad at him and was proud. It basically felt like she was weaponizing that.

Didn’t have a license and he was 24 and his mom would say it’s her fault because she thought it was easier. I finally got him to get it then she wouldn’t participate in helping him practice.

If we argue and she can hear (even on the phone) she asks him what’s going on and is invasive

When we moved out she kept making sure he had all HIS things and it bothered both of us because we weren’t breaking up

Doing this move was to help build up financially and other things but his family is always asking to borrow money (give really) for their bills or for his sisters

She always wants to make sure she’s number 1 or think that and wants me to feel that

He told me she always manages to pry things out of him

For months we hadn’t really talked and then I’d seen some messages that were out of line so I unfriended her on Facebook and I didn’t think she’d notice because she never interacts on there and she messaged me and so I didn’t open it asking if things were okay but I went to say hi while I was in town and she came out to say hi and hug me and ask about it and I hated it (usually pretends I don’t exist when I come over)

She keeps track of his every move with find my and will message him about where he is and telling her and stuff

Idk I just need help and I’m happy to elaborate if anyone has questions to help

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Posted
7 months ago