Wondering how to show solidarity this June? Perhaps find the idea of capturing a potential wingman and loyal sidekick tolerable?

Well, there’s no better way than to give a gay the privilege to get a whiff of your manliness. There’s a range of ways to approach this, each of which would be of little work for you but change a little f*g’s life forever.

Consider offering him the chance to wash your dirty laundry for you. If you’re feeling extra generous, you could let him give you a foot rub after a long day at work or the gym. Or, if you truly want to be an ally, simply lift your arms and point at your sweaty armpits to let him appreciate a real man’s smell straight from the source.

You might be thinking, gays aren’t a monolith and there’s a risk one reacts to this badly. That’d be mostly incorrect. If you can sense that a gay is a bottom, then he definitely dreams about this, without fail.

You might also be thinking, I don’t care about being an ally, what’s in it for me? First, any of the aforementioned steps would institute a deep sense of gratitude that would lead the gay to sing your praises to his likely vast group of female friends. Second, in a mission to repay you for your kind deed, the gay would provide you with other auxiliary benefits such as help taking pictures for dating profiles, picking outfit for dates, clean up your place or other menial tasks, and more. His daddy issues and other complexes—of which gays inevitably develop at least one during childhood—will lead him to need the acceptance of a real man and desperately try to become useful to you. He’ll thank you for it, and when you adjust to the mindset that you’re doing him the favor, a truly beautiful dynamic will blossom.

Happy pride! We hope you consider allowing at least one gay you see this June to have his dreams come true. 🌈