So let's say we have been married 20 years. Kids are both grown but still live at home. Marriage is not openly bad, or hostile, but has not been good for quite some time. We met late, married quickly as we both wanted kids and could hear the clock ticking. It was something of a marriage of convenience, but I honestly thought we had enough in common that it would grow into more over time. At least for me, it has not.
There has been little too intimacy of any kind for many years. I fought it at first, but I gave up years ago. I have wanted to leave for quite some time now, but stayed primarily for the kids. Now the issue is her health. She has a chronic autoimmune disorder that is never going away. It also is not fatal, but it does limit her ability to do somethings even more than was the case before. I should point out that she is a good person, I don't have any desire to harm her or cause her any undue pain or hardship, but unlike her, I can't seem to medicate my way to happiness. I guess my dilemma is, am I stuck because of her health? I'm in my 50's, at least one of my friends tells me I'm too old to start over.. I get that starting over would suck in all kinds of ways, but at least I could have a chance to be happy at some point? I honestly can not recall the last time I genuinely felt happiness. WTF do I do here?