To give the whole clear picture…

I am someone that has sexual trauma where porn was involved, so when I heard my bf watches porn and says, “it’s just a means to an end…” I immediately felt like I should emotionally close myself off.

However, I should have made myself more clear from the beginning about my aversion and this is a new relationship.

I did give him the whole story now…

Is it terrible to ask him not to?

I do admit, it also makes me compare myself to other women when I’m not even like that walking around places. I like my body for the most part.

I am more than willing to send visual aid of myself, send sexy voice notes, etc… that actually excites me and turns me on!

I’m not a vanilla person when it comes to sex.

And I’m not against him having alone, masterbation time at all. Even if he used male toys too, like a fleshlight, I’d be fine with that.

Just wish the sex would be more about us exploring each other.

He really is enough for me sexually. I don’t need outside visual aid of other men to help me masterbate… I do enjoy if he sends me sexy stuff of him.

Also, I’m trusting in the way of us hanging out without each other and him having platonic friends with women, like, we don’t live in a vacuum and our fleeting internal thoughts don’t dictate who we are. If he hugged a girl that we were mutual friends of I wouldn’t be upset in the slightest.

He’s also in graphic design and if some company asked for an erotic picture I wouldn’t lose my mind over that.

Is this so terrible? Just asking because we are planning to talk about it and I’m nervous.