Im giving up, not just on mommy doms, my wants and needs, hopes and fantasies, desires and pleas for something more

Im tired of all these people getting my hopes up only to find new ways to rip out my heart and stomp on it in millions of different ways, and then i always sit there just wondering what i did wrong trying to correct that behaviour, then it goes "oh no its ok, dont worry youre fine theres nothing there for me to be upset about honey" then boom another person leaving,

From now on i feel this need to just reject it, reject anyones advances for anything, friendship, decency, anything, ill never find a woman who loves me, who will actually hold me and make me feel like for once in my life someone actually loves me, god forbid i actually feel that, ill never find any basic fucking decency through the internet, people will just constantly try to take advantage of me, and im fine with that, fuck'em ill choose to die alone on purpose its a better existence than being led on and having my time ultamitely wasted, and my feelings seemingly getting connsumately betrayed

To quote a song that always sticks with me "There’s no such thing as love and freedom There’s only money and sex"

And god i feel that lyric everyday